“Purple Tentacle is the only… er… person that I know who can
make America great again.”
Trump said in his concession speech.
Even though he is winning in the nomination count Trump saw
the basic logic of voting for purple tentacle. “Purple is a great guy… He hates
all humans and wants to use his shrink ray on them... I think that this guy could make American Great Again, he feels like he could take over the world!"
We at the Jexonian are unsure of why anyone would want to
vote for someone who hates humans but this weird triangle shaped man is an American
hero. He was able to stop the cow tipping epidemic of 1993 and he also returned
a really large crystal to a museum. In fact we here at the Jexonian are also
endorsing Purple Tentacle. #DontBeAHumanSympasizer
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