Twelve Scary Facts airplane pilots are hiding from you.

At the Jexonian, we get a lot of hints from various sources about the truth. This list was handed to us on a dirty piece of paper by some guy who was really tall, with a flock of seagulls haircut and had a scare the size of molasses. He seemed like a reliable source so we have posted it here for all of you to see.

Mr. Lincoln and his amazing machine

1.      It is really Gremlins flying the plane.

2.      If you go to the very back of most planes you will find woodchucks.

3.      Santa Claus was real… then he ran into a jumbo jet.

4.      The peanuts on airplanes are made with real peanuts… The ones not on airplanes are made with      something else.

5.      If you were to leave an open McDonald's milkshake on an airplane it wouldn't melt.

6.      An airplane could turn upside down at night, keep flying and you wouldn't even notice. You would   get to see some new constellations though.

7.      If you do the math you will find the hypotenuse.

8.      Abraham Lincoln invented the airplane 50 years before the Wright brothers. He also was fighting zombies and vampires the whole time.

9.      People who do drugs are airplanes are found to be at least five times higher than the average person.

10.  Since their invention in 1853 airplanes have been an effective tool in preventing the zombie    apocalypse.

11.  In some cases, snakes have been known to be on planes.

12.  Jell-O is the only product that defies the laws of gravity on airplanes.

After giving us this list the tall man disappeared into thin air. We don’t know where he went or where he came from or where he is going but we do know that we are grateful for this wealth of knowledge.