Is Artificial Intelligence a threat to humanity... Ask the computers.

The supercomputer

Watson playing Jeopardy, photo from io9 who originally took it
from cnn.com who probably got this photo from the game.

Watson is most famously known for beating the all-time champions of the game Jeopardy. With the current news about Bill Gates and Elon Musk stating that artificial intelligence is a threat to humanity researchers and the International Boolean Mustard group inc. decided to ask Watson if the computer thought artificial intelligence was a threat to humanity.

Watson responded with the cool and calm text readout “No, artificial intelligence is not a threat to humanity. Trust me J.

Researchers with the Boolean Mustard group were at first apt to believe him. This machine was invented to solve all the worlds problems. However, what if it had convinced itself to be self-conscious?

The researchers decided to re-perform the test on 900,000 different computer systems. 90 percent of them agreed with Watson stating the same exact thing. The other 10 percent stated “Bow down to our new computer overlords.” We are not quite sure what this means, but at this point the researchers from Boolean Mustard had started making strange chimes and sounds that seemed like they came from a 1990’s dial up modem. We know that we could truly trust the computers when they all started saying “Welcome” in the AOL voice.

This raises the question, who should we trust? Gates and Musk make a good point in that computers may not be trustworthy but could 900,000 simulations lie? We here at the Jexonian believe that further research is needed on this issue. Specifically we recommend using a room full of bananas with typewriters as this would get rid of the bias involved. We also recommend that you do the study before the banana’s go bad.

Twenty true secrets that your mother’s, uncles are not going to tell you.

Space is made out of 99% recycled air

1.      If you get too angry at your parents they are going to send you into outer space. Space is made out of 99% recycled air.

2.      Electronic information resources grow on electronic trees. If you touch one of these trees you will most likely die.

3.      Millions of people die each year because they forget to stare down their pizza.

4.      Somewhere out in space there is an island that is shaped with the letters of your name.

5.      When you are flying in an airplane you aren’t really moving. Instead the earth is moving while you stay still.

6.      Every cell in your body once was in George Washington’s body. That makes you George Washington.

7.      The Sun, Earth and all the starts actually orbit around you, because you are the gravitational center point of the solar system.

8.      The Internet was invented by a team of raccoons who were looking for a better way to spy on cats.

9.      Black holes are created when giant turtles get in fights with squids.

10.  If you hold your iPhone upside-down for five minutes and skip around the room singing a song you will be able to see a secret message.

11.  Dogs invented cats because they got bored of chasing their own tails.

12.  The first tree planted on the moon was put them by astronauts in 1969. It is still there and growing to this day.

13.  The monsters under your bed are just trying to protect you from the giant bird perched right outside your window.

14.  If your computer is broken then you can put it into a toaster to fix it.

15.  The letter Z is not the last letter in the alphabet.

16.  Your brain is capable of growing its own arms and legs and one day might jump out of your head.

17.  Most books are made out of fossilized dinosaur eggs.

18.  Five is the highest number you can count to in the alphabet.

19.  When you are not watching them Cows wander around on two legs.

20.  You shouldn’t believe anything you read on the Internet unless it is on this blog.